Well happy birthday to me. As Siz mentioned last post, Vegas is just SILLY. You see the movies, you hear the whispers, and if you’re anything like me you go ‘bugger off it’s like that’. Can I please now confirm to you that yes it is. It is exactly like that.

So our Vegas hook-up Slick Rick led us into his clubs, straight past your VIP lines and into areas that apparently cost the sort of dosh that buys us normies a new set of wheels at a Holden dealership. A sample of the numbers that Slick Rick arranged without charge;

Entry to Steve Aoki – $90

Table and bottles at a live music club – $500-1000

Private Area at super duper swanky club (that we sort of muscled our way into) – $15,000

Fair to say, the money here is vomitus. You’ve got the extremes of someone dropping $15k on a 3 square metre bit of turf then walking outside to be tapped on the shoulder by the friendliest bum ever asking if you could spare 10c for his kids.

So Siz had sneakily arranged a bit of a birthday extravaganza for me on Saturday. We started off by shaking off the hangover from Friday with burgers and beers in our room, before togging up and hitting the pool at our casino (SLS). The pool parties here start mid-morning and you could lose your molars with the amount of bass they’ve got pumping through the speakers even if you’re there that early. We floated around for a few hours before heading back to the room to sharpen up and have snacks & cocktails.

From there we hit up Sayers Live music club where we got prime seating and our own bottles and cocktail waitress, and I got shout-outs galore from the musos. After we all got to the point where we couldn’t feel our own faces we topped off the night with the hype EDM sounds of Steve Angelo at Live club. That thing you see in movies where someone upstairs pours vodka straight into your mouth happened. It was filth.

Anyways, the armchair ride drinking caught up to me after day 2. Siz and I left our hotel room for a total of 30 minutes on Sunday, and solely due to lack of food.

I have officially been Vegased.